"A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes."

Ludwig Wittgenstein

Obi-Wan Yoda

A time within reach...A galaxy very, very nearby.

Obi-Wan Yoda traces his DNA origins to Council member Master Yoda and Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knights who resurrected the Jedi order after the Galactic Civil War a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

In the waning years of his life, Yoda became preoccupied with a permanent solution to guarantee the Galactic Republic 's survival. He had also often wondered about ways to trigger a realization of the ancient prophecy of the chosen "One" who would return balance to the Force thus ensuring the permanence of the Republic. Over time, he had come to fear that neither Anakin Skywalker nor his son Luke would rise to become the prophetic "One". He had also come to disbelieve Mace Windu's expectation that this "One" would emerge naturally.

Realizing his declining prescient skills and the extent to which the whole Council had been unable to anticipate the rise of the Dark side of the Force, he had finally convinced himself unconventional and un-dogmatic thinking was the only worst-case hedge of the Republic against the next severe challenge to its existence.

Having witnessed the effectiveness of the clone trooper infantries on the battlefield during the Galactic Civil War, he had started to wonder whether Kaminoans mastery of genetic sciences could be applied to craft a new generation of Jedi Knights from which the "One" could emerge.

Despite his successful efforts to rebuild a new Jedi order by training a new generation of Jedi Knights with master Obi-Wan Kenobi, he was growing increasingly insecure about the future of the Republic.

In the end, after much soul searching, he secretly entered in contact with the leading genetic engineering scientist in the World of Kamino who had invented the techniques that helped manufacture the Clone troopers of the Grand Army of the Republic, Great Master Foumthimos.

Foumthimos was the quintessential multidisciplinary scientific genius of legends and fables. By his mid teens, he had become a Grand Master in philology and exact metaphysics. He was said to have discovered teleportation in the germinalias month of his twenty fifth year through his "Deep Hole Theory (DHT)". In the DHT, he showed that "absolute vacuum" must first be created in the manner in which dreams emerge in the REM( rapid eye movement ) phase of sleep to carry individuals to other outer worlds. This revolution in transportation subsequently enabled the Republic to expand over the whole galaxy and to become known as the Galactic Republic . In recognition, the Galactic senate elevated him to the rank of Grand Hero of the Republic. It was his finest hour.

Later, Foumthimos proposed a theory he dubbed "simprology" dedicated to the individual improvement of all humanoid species of the galaxy. Like his DHT, this work sent shockwaves in intellectual circles throughout the Galaxy; Unlike the DHT however, it left the republic split in two camps: the simprolists and the marolists. Marolist worlds declared simprolists to be criminals and outlawed them. Simprolist worlds simply isolated themselves from marolists in condescension. Kamino was such a world and Foumthimos made it his home. There, fully funded, he continued his genetic experiments and Kamino became the genetic engineering cluster of innovations in the whole galaxy. Thus, Kamino developed the cloning technology for the Clone Army.

In order not to be isolated in the order, Yoda convinced Obi-Wan Kenobi to accompany him at his meeting with Foumthimos. He wanted to inquire if Kaminoans cloning technology could be expanded to engineer new humanoids by selectively combining the finest of their genetic material. If this were possible, a new generation of Jedi knights could emerge by mixing the genetic code of various of the greatest Jedi Knights who ever lived. Upon hearing Yoda's presentation of his thoughts, Foumthimos was thrilled. Now the Republic openly needed him again! And it was a unique opportunity to test his latest generic experiments. Unable to wait for a next meeting, he asked for a sample of Obi Wan and Yoda's blood and told them he would test it and report on actual possibilities. Later that night, he extracted midi-chlorian genes of Obi-Wan and Yoda and mixed them for fertilization. Driven by curiosity and narcissistic instincts, he could not help but add some creative genes of his to see if they could successfully be fertilized.

However, upon Obi Wan and Yoda's return at Coruscant, world of the purpose of their trip leaked out. The marolist senators of the republic were outraged and their arguments deeply moved the entire republic against Foumthimos. The untouchable Obi-Wan and Yoda were forced to publicly disavow their initiation of the project in order to be spared from the public wrath of the Marolists.

The very same senate that had celebrated Foumthimos' glory earlier turned against him with the very same passion. Unable to harm him physically, it settled on publicly humiliating him in the most dramatic way. Foumthimos was summoned to a senate ethics panel for questioning in a theatrical scene opened to the galactic landscape.

It was a masquerade. Foumthimos had come with the sample culture of the mixture of the DNA of Obi-Wan and Yoda. He was very excited because the early reading showed a combination with potential midi-chlorian counts in the bloodstream unseen in the entire galactic history. He was ready to amaze and win over the senate with his demonstration.

This was not to be. The charge, led by senator Macraturos left him no chance to utter a world. In the end, totally disgruntled, he took the sample in his hand, gazed at it the infinity of the Galaxy around him and looked back at the sample in his hands and said: "Art thou he that should come? he paused, shook his head, his eyes flashing as if in drugged euphoria and looked at the whole assembly of senators gathered around him; and then, spinning a full thee quarter of a circle, he spread the entire liquid into the galactic space: " let us return thee to nature where thee belong".

Fast forward.

Miraculously and strangely enough, some of these cultures survived. Frozen and wandering in space, a long time passed and they traveled through galaxies, attracted by various psychic- magnetic forces indicative of compatible life searing potential.

Hence they were sucked by the Milky way and ended up in its life searing planet where life emerged, in a region identified in some texts as Africanus Kamerunensis, where they laid for a long, long time, stuck in an aggregate of cold rocky sand. Over time, the density of the sand increased, forming rocks. When earth's temperature began to rise the formed rock began to soften.

In recent centuries, natives of the region began to consume that type of rock as it contained calcium and magnesium and had a taste that helped pregnant women fight nausea and deliver babies with stronger immune systems.

A little over thirty years ago, a young woman in her second month of pregnancy consumed "The" rock. The original genetic material of the unborn was substantially subdued by the ones in the surviving cultures. Seven months later, a different kind of baby was born ...

This author.